Japanglish

Oh no I’ve caught the swine! Or I’m just having a mild allergic reaction to a new environment. I’ve narrowed it down to one of the two. Either way, my head feels like a balloon that should’ve popped about three puffs of air earlier, my throat has decided to use fire as a means of personal expression, and my nose is of the opinion that dipping snot is going to be the next huge fashion trend. Yea, I’m before my time in “おしゃれ.” (pronounced “o・sha・re” meaning fashion.”)

I really love Japan and the Japanese language, but what I really love is Japanglish. The guy from the gas company who came to turn on our gas and hot water tried to speak it, but he really was only fluent in Japanese, not Japanglish. He said, “Gas 金はconvenienceで払ってよろしいです。” or something like that, excuse my bad Japanese and bad memory. Basically means, “you can pay the gas bill at your convenience.” My linguistic anthropology skills tell me this is called “code-mixing,” but I prefer the term “Japanglish.” Way more fun to say.

Sam and I are always modifying Japanese words too, but the difference is, no one understands us. We’ll be like, “Ah, that’s too muzukash!” without the “i.” Just basically making a cute language ugly and American. Just for funsies.

Another fun game is “Spot the Gaij.” That’s short for “gaijin,” which apparently isn’t exactly PC anymore to say. Oh well. (Racial slurs are ok when you’re included in the offended race. That’s why it’s handy to be tri-racial.^^) Every once in a while we’ll see other foreigners, and they stick out like the red dot on the Japanese flag. Not so hard to spot. So it’s become like “Where’s Waldo?” or “Slug Bug.” Every time we see one we’re like, “Gaij!” “Wow, look! French Gaij!” “Did you see the huge horde of Gaij in front of the conbini?”

Just something to do while swimming upstream trying to get where we’re going. It’s so crowded in Tokyo. Shinjuku station during rush hour is insane, and yet, I keep seeing these cute little elementary school kids with their big eyes navigating by themselves just like all the grumpy, underappreciated salarymen. But actually the train system isn’t that hard to get. Everything is labeled wonderfully, and on the Yamanote-sen, they even say things in English. Still, it seems like a daunting task for an 8-year-old.

Another thing I’ve noticed, Tokyo is one of the easiest places to be blind in. The being blind part is obviously still kinda tough, but there are so many adaptations for blind people. The “kippu uriba” or ticket machines in the stations have huge brail plaques of the map and fares, there are yellow bumpy paths on the floor that lead to different platforms (so literally follow the yellow brick road), and all over the streets there are more yellow bumpy things on the ground so you don’t accidentally get hit by a truck. Japanese trucks are tiny but still... At a cross walk you can push a button that makes the bird chirp noise when it’s safe to cross. It’s just so well thought out. I’m sure there’s more, I just don’t notice because I can see and I’m too busy looking for gaij.

Nakano is in northwestern Tokyo and is way less crowded than say, Harajuku. It’s very residential but not far from all the hullabaloo, as I’ve said earlier. It’s also extremely safe. All of Japan is pretty safe compared to other countries, and Tokyo is way safer than other cities of comparable size, but Nakano is one of the safer areas of Tokyo. Last night, I was out walking back to my apartment from the internet café, stopped to get some food at the conbini, and didn’t get back until just after midnight. Totally safe. I know my mom is sprouting all the grey hairs she’s every wanted while reading this, but it’s true. Japanese mom’s let their 8-year-olds take Shinjuku station home from school, I think my big, 19-year-old, American self is OK.

People are actually really nice. The internet café I went to last night was in a huge shopping center called Nakano Sun Plaza. I entered in one entrance, stayed for 3 hours, and when it was time to leave, that entrance had closed up. So I got a little lost trying to find the exit. Haha. Wish that was the most embarrassing thing I’ve done this trip, and I’m only 8 days into it. (probably gotta be standing in front of a door trying to figure out how to open it. You just had to touch it.) So, I went up to the guy at the counter of the internet café and asked him how to get to Nakano doori, which is how you say Nakano street. Not only did he tell me, but he led me there and spoke to me in Keigo the whole time. Keigo is what you use when addressing someone above you. Either he had really low self-esteem, or he was that polite. Very few people are below a 19-year-old who can’t find her way out of a mall. Side note: he used Japanglish too! “Thisは中野streetです。” which means “This is Nakano street.”