I Use the Word "Happy" or It's Various Forms 5 Times in Here

I really haven't done anything all that interesting since my last post. At least, it's not interesting to read about, and might not even be interesting to experience unless you're me. In which case, you would be ecstatic, complete with dancing in the rain. Yes, I actually danced in the rain and skipped back to my apartment one night.

It's the little stuff that makes me really happy. Going to famous temples and tourist hot spots are cool. I mean, they became tourist attractions for a reason. Also, that's what people back home can understand. They can see the draw in visiting Tokyo tower and even seeing live music, those are familiar stories that make them feel like I'm really enjoying myself here, but the truth is, those things are the worst part of this trip. That should tell you something about how wonderful the rest of it is.

What I really enjoy doing is slowly walking down the sidewalk with nothing but a huge umbrella and my key in my pocket and suddenly think to myself, 「日本にいる。これは日本だよ。そして、今、日本語で考えてるよ。」 ("I'm in Japan. This is Japan. Also, I'm thinking in Japanese right now."), break into a huge smile and look up at the rain, and have passersby give me funny looks. I don't see what's so funny about pure enjoyment from nothing; happiness is just contagious I guess.

I can't believe how easy it is to live here. I don't understand why more people don't do it. It's so simple. Even if you don't speak Japanese, if you understand basic English, you can survive in Tokyo with little effort. But visiting here is nothing. It's like going to a Japan theme park in the U.S. if you're not careful. It's living here that's meaningful. Just walking back from the supermarket with the knowledge that I just independently and freely bought food and now I'm going to go to my apartment and eat it like all the other Japanese people.

Conformity isn't given enough respect in America because we were founded on beliefs that everyone has equal and individual rights to happiness and to express that happiness in their own personal, original way. It's the snowflake credo. All of which I wholeheartedly subscribe to. However, we've let conformity's meaning be completely engulfed by our overzealous cheers of independence. Being in Japan has allowed me to see good and bad in both independence and conformity. Conforming is a form of belonging and belonging is something every human soul craves. Conformity is comforting. It gives you the confidence that you are doing something right and despite the fact that life has no guidebooks or absolutes, the choices you're making at the moment aren't completely warped. Obviously this isn't always true (I'm resisting the urge to bring up the horror that conforming to Hitler brought about because Hitler is an overused cliché); like I said, there are no absolutes, but at least others can understand you.

And so the everyday little things that I do, not being immediately spotted as the outsider in a foreign society, walking home from the supermarket just like the woman on the other side of the street, it makes me proud. It takes a certain kind of understanding and open-mindedness to embrace a culture to the point of conforming. Pride is another misunderstood concept. Pride isn't always bad. My small accomplishment of partly understanding another group of people and stepping away from my window to peek out another at the world makes me feel like a better person than I was a month ago, and it makes me feel like I am someone who can learn and therefore grow and that makes me proud. And all of that, conforming and being proud, makes me happy.

Skipping and dancing in the rain doesn't seem as odd anymore, right?

P.S. Sorry to get philosophical on you guys, but I got nothing else. I probably haven't really been doing anything much different than you do every day, minus the work/school. Just living. ^^